Naked Sushi

Is fast becoming a popular eating form where a model, woman or man, lies naked while sushi is place on their bodies as a table. Okay organic is organic, but at the high cost of around $450 per dining experience I would much rather go buy a new pair of boots. Do you get a guarantee that the "table" comes with a clean bill of health ie, no toenail fungus, no pimples that need popping, no open wounds and anything else that I won't mention? Does the restaurant inspector come out and grade each model with an A - F ? What if you don't like your model, do you get to send her/him back to the kitchen? And God forbid, do you get your meal for free if you should find a hair in your roll? Being that I can't even say tongue scraper without gagging, you get a big NO THANK you from me on this one.